ADHD parent of an ADHD child

I just came across a book on the narcissistic parent and the damage it does to our daughters. This brought tears to my eyes because I see so many of these self serving personality traits in myself. I do not feel I am great or have accomplished anything, so I guess I am not really narcissistic. I then compared the two, narcissism and ADHD and they have similarities. I just worry that I am so self-absorbed and unable to handle much sensory stimulation, that I am going to ruin my children. I really do try to be a good mom, but I honestly cannot seem to handle incessant chatter, being around lots of people for very long, and too much stress. It feels as if I am on overload and going to go insane if I do not get to a quiet place - which in my home it seems impossible. What kind of mother wants her kids to be quiet? The guilt of this drives me even more crazy because I wonder why I am the way I am. I try to accept it, and work to be better, but its still there. I cannot handle what most normal people can handle. I could not imagine trying to juggle kids in sports, or other activities, because honestly, I am barely able to survive the days just getting the kids to school, getting through homework and getting them to bed. That alone is enough to suck the very life from me. It is mostly because of my oldest daughter, who has ADHD and has it bad! I love her dearly and she is such a sweetheart, but she talks like a million miles a minute about nothing in particular, and if you try to have a conversation with her its like you are talking to yourself because she just changes the subject consistently. And she is very argumentative, so if you tell her to do something or try to help her, she will argue or make excuses. She is 12 years old now and she still cries almost every day about something ridiculous.  I have even wondered what life would be life if I had never had her, or if I were to send her to live with her biological father. I know how awful that sounds, but I am just plum worn out. Between my issues and hers, I am just at a loss for how to deal with things. I feel as if I am doing more wrong than right - causing more damage to her than building her up. The resentment and anger towards her is so strong that I cringe when she hugs me. I do not show her of coarse and I honestly try to be loving, but its so hard for me. I do not understand why either. I do not feel the same way when I hug my younger daughter. I know she is my favorite, but its only because she does not fight with me and cry about everything. What would make a mother feel so unattached to her own child? How do I break the cycle of negativity and really build her up?